Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
