why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
