Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
