Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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