I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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