Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize