You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
