So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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