i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
