Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
