All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
