The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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