No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
