Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Small penises have feelings too.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just took my morning after pill in the library
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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