if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize