The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
