Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
