I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize