drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
