So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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