we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Randomize