Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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