You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize
