I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
