i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
