Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
