Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
