I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
