really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm always down for nudity.
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