I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
