He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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