ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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