Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
