do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
