But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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