Sry I called you an 8
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
