dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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