I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
