It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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