i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
