Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize