Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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