and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
