i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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