Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
