I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize