Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am naked and annoyed.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
