Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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