(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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