The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
