If i come over, it means nothing
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
