Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
