chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
