I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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