By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
