I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
