how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
