I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's never too late to be topless.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
