my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
