Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
