KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
