Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
