Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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