So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
