you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
