it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
