Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
