this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
