he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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